What I've done!!!!
travelling on a 2971 Bhavnagar Bandra Terminus Express enroute to Ahmedabad, one last time!! And listening to 'Tanha Dil' by a guy whose name conincides with the current boy friend of a girl used to like, while my parents sit in the same compartment of the train about 20 feet from me... just checked, about 30. How ironic is that!!!
3 months back i decided to write a blog everyweek, about something i thought about. 3 months down, one realization which had happened 4 years back at SPCE, and then 2 years back at Infosys. Life is what happened while I waws busy planning it. This time with one difference, I wasn't planning it, rather living it and experiencing it.
So what happened then. In chronological order as it happened.
A good friend and I fixed the internet access problem on the campus, anyone who was anyone tried to, and failed, and it took 2 days to figure out how to. Top of the world was an understatement, I was living on ClouD(orm)9 anyways.
I started liking this junior of mine, tried to put on the moves on her.... hmmm now that i think about them, what moves???
I got placed, waited for getting interviews, but the firm firm I did interview with, I got a job, doing what I love...IT. Althought the firm went about doing what a typical IT firm does.... the quintessential carrot that hangs in front of you, something every IT engineer is aware of, absolutely hates, and yet continues to reach for, knowing that he(she) will never get.
My startup venture lost some steam, a team member my close friend recruited, gave up... I wish I can say its his loss, but only time can tell. Then the close friend threw in the towels as well, now its just me, and a "reffered" friend. Things went moving along well.
By now, the final placements started, I had enough firms to apply with, decided they were not worth spending time on. Few that I thought were worth, considered me as their waste of time.... Irony is becoming a overkill right now, but hey what the heck.
By this time, the girl I liked (junior meant a girl...!!!!) somehow had work of her own (she is a PGP1 at IIMA, what do u think she was doing??) and I thought she was avoiding me, and so I confronted her, only to find out that she wast, and that she wasnt... avoinding and interested!!! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!!!
By now CC(the great computer department of WIMWI) lost all interest in what we were doing, where I was an external independent consultant, trying to fix problems. Arrogance had got to me it seemed, as the entire batch decided to verbally rape me, and everything I said. One junior, the head of CC who would take my word for what it stood, grew a pair, and decided to override everything I attempted to do!!. The contract as an independent consultant was worthless, as I lost any interest in it.
Another entre oppurtunity came knocking and collided with my final placement. I dont know wheter to say yes to this, or to backoff. I dont know, another choice to make.
Finally, last but not the least, another girl, daughter of a family friend, i knew from a million years ago, and i got talking, just to realize that i liked her. She hasnt showed anysigns yet, and seems as if it wasnt really her, but her brother, just having some fun with me.
To make matters worst, I had a falling out close friend who was involved with my venture, not over the venture, but because I spoke to his girlfriend!!! I hope i dont become that paranoid boy friend, if i ever become one.
So after 3 months, am back to square 1, no one to speak to except my partner who is in US, the venture which i hope will give me an alternate future plan, and a regret for not making the most of my oppurtunity at IIMA. So far I said I wasnt interested in it. Today I am confident that I was ready for the change ofstate of mind, and until i am, nothing will stop me on my path.
So do i feel bad about not writing every week? Not particularly, i went thru almost the same things that took 4years in the last 3 months, a sort of quick flashback reminding me of my mistakes, hoping that i will be more careful the next time around.
I will convocate day after tomorrow. My last official day at Indian institute of Management, Ahmedabad. The place where I would have dreamed to be in my third year at engineering. I dream today, of things I wont talk about now, Its been a long blog anyways.
As I signout from this blog, watching western railway stations pass me by.... listening to Superman tonight by Bon jovi, I wonder when will i write my next blog, a week, 3 months, a year. I dont know. To all the CAT aspirants, and anyone who wants to know the secret of success
a. define success in your own terms, dont stick to others definitions, they will seldom live to your expectations. TRUST ME!!
b. Life is what happened, when I was busy planning it. You can have great plans, but after everything is said and done, what happened and what you learnt from it counts the most.
Am out!!!
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Regards
Bhalchandra Bhat
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U2 - Walk On
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